The History of the Church of England

Despite the terrible pain Henry knew would be brought to countless devotees of our Lord, he knew it was his duty to build a Church for his people as the good Lord intended. For although the people of England were trying to be faithful to the Almighty, Henry was now acutely aware that they would all burn in hellfire for eternity because they were doing it all wrong.
So with the stiff upper lip and firm resolve so prominent amongst Kings appointed by the Divine Being, he proceeded to drag his nation towards the truth, the light and the way.
One of the biggest mistakes the Catholic Church was making at the time was the amount of Gold and precious stones they were using to ornament their places of worship. Unknown to them, God was most displeased with these glittering temples, preferring a more humble celebration of His glory.

Henry, who alone knew the Lord's mind, put a stop to "Merry Gold Day" with an ingenious system of beheadings and soon began the systematic 'cleaning' of the gold-encrusted churches, removing the offending materials and putting them to a use that God would approve of - the supply of weapons and other materials to the armed forces to help defend the realm.
This is without doubt the most momentous occasion in history, as it marks the first time that God finally had people worshipping Him in the correct way. It is a sobering thought indeed, when you consider the countless souls which were lost to the fires of Hell before this point. And indeed we can only give thanks to the Lord that He chose to reveal the truth to King Henry when He did, or no doubt we too would be bound for the inferno that never dies.
Some Historians imply that Henry's break from Rome involved other factors, such as Henry's desire to have his marriage annulled so that he might remarry and beget an heir, but these have been widely and soundly discounted as fabricated attempts made by Catholic scholars to slander the great man and indeed the creation of the Anglican Church.